Finding Grace

​Sometimes we have to carry illness with grace. By grace I mean deep acceptance and compassion for what our bodies are going through.
 
While we may not be able to recover full health, grace gives us the courage to continue on when the path is rocky.
 
Most of you know that three months ago, I had a kidney transplant.
 
I was incredibly lucky.  I found an altruistic living donor, an angel who gave me years of life and health. My transplant team couldn’t have nicer or more available.  My nephrologist of twenty years assured me that he would help me get through whatever was in store for me.  I have good health insurance and most of my medical costs were covered. 
 
 And still, this has been a hard journey for me.
 
I have moments of feeling fear and uncertainty.  I still feel deeply vulnerable.  I know that for the rest of my life I will need to be on immunosuppressant medication. 
 
As wonderful as my healthcare team is, I’m tired of medical appointments and blood work.  I wish I no longer had to track all the numbers that determine my health.
 
In these moments, I lean into grace.  I count my blessings.  I think of all the people who have touched my life.  I have deep compassion for the 80,000 people in this country who are still waiting for a kidney.  I have deep compassion for everyone who struggles with pain and chronic illness.
 
Illness is a hard journey.  It’s one that is not so much discussed.  The miracle of medicine (and it truly is miraculous) comes with the cost of discomfort and a type of loneliness.  I can count of one hand the number of people I know who have either been a kidney donor or recipient.
 
In the midst of pain and discomfort, grace reminds me I am not alone.  Grace reminds me that my life is worth getting the care I need.  Grace reminds me that in getting care I’ll be able to help others in need.  Grace reminds me that illness is a part of the human condition.
 
The great thing about grace is that it’s always available.  I encourage you to take a moment right now to tap into something that expresses life’s beauty.  Maybe it’s an object, a place, a song or a piece of art.
 
Think about an angel in your life.  Someone who showed up when you were in need.
 
If you feel lost or unmoored, feel the ground beneath your feet.
 
Say these words to yourself,  “I am loved.  I am cared for.  I am important.  I am present in this moment.  There is a spaciousness in life that holds me.”
 
These are the ways that we find grace.
 
If you need encouragement, do reach out to me.  It you’ve had moments of grace in your life, I’d love for you to share them with me.
 
May you find grace in your most challenging moments.
 
From my heart to yours...

---